Hard Work and Dirty Habits = a Humbled Lauren

Lately I've been a shining example of how NOT to live a healthy life.

I've been eating a lot of crappy food and a lot of my own words.  For someone who tells people that the only solution for "I don't have time to exercise" is to MAKE time, I've been doing very little of that myself.  To be fair to myself, I did just switch jobs and take on a much more hectic work schedule than I've ever been used to.  Adjusting to a new part-time job while working a full-time job around it has been a challenge that I wasn't quite ready for (and now feel really proud now to have made it through!)

But now the adjustment period is coming to a close and I can feel myself settling into the new routine--which means it's time to turn my energy back toward my nutrition and activity level!  I'm still figuring out where the best little pockets of time will be to fit in my workouts and food prep, and though I'm confident I'll get it figured out the rest of the way within the next couple of weeks I definitely have a new understanding of how difficult it can become to stay on track when life gets crazy or something unexpected interrupts the usual. 

I've still remained health conscious every second of the time, but it's been torture having so much trouble finding the time to do what I need to do.  Now it makes sense to me how even people who start out determined can end up letting their good habits go in the midst of pandemonium.  I guess instead of torturing themselves mentally for enacting poor health practices, some just accept the easier (and less immediately stressful) route--which is to turn that food filter off, sit back at the end of the day and say "eh, working all day is enough of a workout.  Maybe I'll get a real one in tomorrow."

This is not to say that I would encourage anyone who's "too busy" to give up trying...but I'm certainly feeling less judgmental about the people who do.


Lauren's Virtue of the Month: Humility.

Drugs...sometimes you need them.

Yesterday I went back on my antidepressant medication.

After one month happy and drug free and another month slowly sinking back into a hole of irritability and trying to cling to normalcy, I've finally broken down.  The worst part is that I'm having to eat my words about how much better I felt without the drug initially.  I thought proper diet and copious exercise were doing the job that my maintenance dose of SSRI's has been doing for the last ten or so years. 

I was wrong.

Well, I was partially wrong.  When things were easy and I had two jobs I was used to and a busy but managable schedule, everything was fine.  But as soon as things got stressful and my life started to change with this new position, I began feeling less and less like myself and more and more like a crazy monster that can't handle even the slightest mishap without screaming or throwing something.

So yeah, back to citalopram.  When I get my life back in order and start finding time to work out vigorously on a daily basis again, maybe I'll need it less.  But even then I think I should stay on, and that's the plan until the next time I manage to forget why I need the stuff and try to play Superwoman. 

The general concensus as to the effect time of these types of medications is that they take about a week to two weeks to start working, but after two days I feel a difference.  Maybe it's just a placebo effect from knowing I'm back in my safety net, but whatever it is, I'll take it.

I wanted to be the shining example of why medications aren't always necessary if you conduct a healthy lifestyle.  But I guess it's more important to be an example of someone who recognizes what their body and mind need to be healthy and does it (even when it's a blow to my pride.)

Another day in fitness Paradise...

Oh. My. Hamstrings.  I went to my brother's Crossfit class at noon on Wednesday (remember when I said I might work out in between jobs?  Yeah.  That happened.)  The skill for the day was dumbbel snatches (which were new to me, although I'm familiar with the regular snatch.  And I really need to get over how dirty this word sounds regardless of context.) 

I'm going to try saying it a bunch of times.  Snatch.  Snatch.  Snatch.  Snatch.  Snatch.
Do 10 snatches.
Hold that snatch in position.
You're doing your snatch wrong.

Okay this isnt' helping.

The WOD was as many rounds as possible, 5 dumbbell snatches alternating hands, 5 front squats (I did 55 which I'm determined to raise next time) and a 200 meter run for the others but a stupid 250 meter row for me because my knees are still a little easily inflamed from all the running abuse I did.  The workout itself didn't feel too torturous.  I mean it's always a torturefest, but it wasn't one of those ones where you leave feeling nauseous and like your body is a half-cooked piece of pasta. 

But DAMN am I feeling it in my legs right now.  And now I get to stand for hours and hours and hours.  Cheers. 

I have a long day ahead of me and it's probably going to suck; but in the two hours I have between my two 8 hour shifts I'm going to get in an ab workout and feel pretty badass about myself for doing it.  So at least there's that to look forward to, both the workout itself (I love working abs!) and the feeling of knowing I put that effort in.  Whatever you have to do today, make sure you do something for yourself. 

Nunc scio quit sit FATIGUE (Now I know what fatigue is)

Good morning, folks!  I hope everyone is having a fabulously fit week. 

Today is my second day (as well as my second day IN A ROW) as an opener at the new health club at which I am now employed.  The rookies always get the crap shifts, although I really wouldn't mind the early days if it weren't for the 3-11 pm shifts at CVS that often follow.  I'm basically stuck with a free-time sandwich three to four days out of the week with an inadequate span of time for sleeping in between. 

It's going to be a struggle for a while, but I believe it'll be worth it.  The club itself is amazing and in addition to a free membership I get to be surrounded by others who are passionate about fitness and support my goal of becoming a trainer.  I'm pretty exhausted right now, and yet I'm finding there's almost like a store of energy here waiting for me when I come in that keeps me going.  I even found the will to work out yesterday, and may even do so again today between jobs.

Nothing destroys fatigue like passion, and there's plenty of that here.

Fitness-- it's infectious. 

Buckling down in the present and gearing up for the future!

I've been looking at different options for where to get my Personal Fitness Training certification, and I'm thinking I'll be going with NASM.  I've been reading through their textbook and I really like their ideology.  I believe wholeheartedly in stressing the importance of preconditioning and stability training BEFORE engaging in strength, endurance and power training.  So SO important.

That being said, I have a lot to learn.  I know my bone names and that's pretty much it so the anatomy part will be a challenge, but again it's imperative that I know those things front to back, plus everything I can possibly absorb about nutrition (and information in that area is constantly being updated!). So, this is probably what my desk will look like for the next couple months...Computer, textbook, notebook and of course some topical treatment for aches from the OTHER kind of studying I'm doing, at the gym!

Overwhelmed

I think one of the toughest things for me to deal with as I learn more about this profession is that the average person doesn't want my help.  And even the people who ask for help often aren't accepting of what you tell them because its usually not quick or easy.  I know I can't just start going around telling everyone what they're consuming is slowly killing them and that their diet is probably the root of most or all of their current or future health issues.  Unsolicited information-giving like that will get you an unfavorable label really fast.

Which brings me to topic 2...the fact that most of this advice is totally unwanted by most of my coworkers.  After all, we get discounts on all these inflammation-inducing artery-hardening gut-scrambling products they sell here.  When I see someone I work with feeling like crap but buying a Diet Coke instead of the giant water they clearly need, I want to help them!  But I'm going to have to live my life now constantly reminding myself how difficult the food industry has made it for people to even be able to have the realizations they need to have about nutrition (although the soda for water swap should be fairly obvious no matter who you are...) and remembering that I can't force a healthy life on someone no matter how much I care about them or the ridiculous amounts of good I can see a healthy paleo-inspired diet would do them.

Maybe with age and experience you develop a better handle on how to get through to people who desperately need your input but won't take it?  I'm so exhausted by the thought of this battle already, but maybe I just don't have all the right armor yet.

Running and Screaming

Running Screaming

About  a year or so ago I decided to start putting some serious work into my body.   I was already pretty fit by the average person’s standards, a state I’d reached by a slooooow but mostly steady progression throughout the handful of years prior.  But after being a regular gym-goer since 21 without any remarkable change, I decided I didn’t want to go through the gym motions anymore.  I wanted to stand out!

I started attending my brother Steve’s Crossfit classes; sparingly, but enough to get some ideas.  He’s a great instructor and Crossfit is a great way to give myself a boost with some new ideas and get a good push from someone else when I’ve been failing to push myself.  But I mostly prefer to do my personal workouts alone, so when I’m not in need of help I’m usually alone. 

I started running…first a little, then a lot.  And always on the treadmill.  As I gained the endurance to take longer and longer distances, I began to escape into running with music bumping in my ears and for a while it was the greatest thing ever.  By July of last year I was running like crazy, although still a sad speed for the average person.  I have a vocal cord condition that has been present since birth called vocal cord paresis, and though my ability to take in adequate amounts of oxygen on my inhale has improved over the course of my life it’s been an uphill struggle learning to maintain a breathing pattern during cardio.  But I progressed in that area and once I had the ability to run for set times I started playing with speed.  I went faster and faster, not only burning calories but burning off all the negative thoughts I had going at the time.

 (Brief explanatory side note: In early June my boyfriend of 2.5 years and I decided mutually to end the charade of what was left of our relationship, and in July my brother and his girlfriend of 10 years tied their knot.  A beautiful day for them and for myself, but I can’t say it didn’t hit me in a weak spot…pretty shitty timing but better than having the ex in the wedding photos and THEN breaking up.  It can always be worse!)

Outside I was running. And running. And running. 

Inside I was screaming.  And screaming.  And screaming.

A couple of months ago I was down to a nine-minute mile, and had actually hit the 8:35 area a couple of times.  Then I started to get shin splints, mostly in the left leg but it affected both.  Once I finally faced the pain instead of continuing to run over it (did that for a good week and a half) I was out of the running game for 12 days.  I came back strong but started out slow, only to find my calves had stiffened immensely in the course of my shin splint healing—something had to take that weight while they were weak.  I continued to run, and run, and run, although still slower than before.  But eventually I started working in short sprints, and for a very brief period things seemed to be okay.  I was foam rolling my calves and stretching them daily, and it seemed to be helping. 

Then my knee started to hurt.  First it was just while running, and of course I just adjusted my stride a little hoping that would be enough, and was silly enough to let the adrenaline of a good workout fool me into thinking it wasn’t hurting me to keep running.  Soon my knee was actually hurting outside of the gym, and I decided I should stop (DUH!  We athletes can be so stubborn…and sometimes just stupid.  It should not have taken me this long to realize I needed to stop.  But I digress.)  and get some professional opinions on what was going on.  A friend who trains at my gym helped me out with stretching and brought to my attention the fact that pretty much EVERYthing in my legs was incredibly tight, particularly my Achilles’.  The backs of my knees would barely straighten, my hamstrings were weak and my ankle mobility was awful!  I was also squatting and crouching incorrectly, not while working out but in my day-to-day life.  As I do a lot of physical labor at work (I work for CVS but try to stay away from the registers in favor of merchandising) I felt SO stupid for never having thought much about my form there.  I’d adjusted the way I lift things but that was pretty much it, and my friend pointed out that the fact I was squatting and crouching so hurriedly all the time while working was probably the reason my knees were hurting.  Aside from the running, obviously, which I was also doing wrong!  Heel to toe was not the name of my game, and I was leaning back which led to my feet striking the floor in front of my body as opposed to underneath it.  Wrong, wrong, wrong. 

Best and most valuable piece of advice I have to give so far as a would-be trainer: if you’re not sure about your form, DO NOT BE TOO PROUD TO ASK SOMEONE TO WATCH YOU.  If you want to correct yourself, have someone record you, but if you don’t know, just ask.  I wish I’d asked months ago for someone to comment on my form…one of the handful of things I could have done differently to prevent the irritation I’m dealing with now.

So now I’ve basically been resting my knees and stretching for the past week, and though it would help if I wasn’t on my feet for 8 hours five days out of the week, I’m feeling improvement and hearing less of those scary crackly noises when I bend.  But as a new runner who felt I was progressing so much, it’s been extremely frustrating pulling back and giving into the cold hard fact that if I want to continue running in the future, I have to start over now and recondition my whole lower body before I continue. 

As soon as I started resting and using low-impact moves to strengthen the muscles surrounding my knees, the pain started to recede within two days, although the tightness and a little pain are still creeping up by the end of a shift.  At least I'm on the right track again even if it is slow-moving, but I feel like I have a million things to remember.  Walk heel-to-toe. Stretch my calves in between throughout the day so that training myself to walk that way won’t cause them injury.  Never let my knees come out past my toes.  Okay so that's only three, but I have to say all this is definitely slowing down the rate at which I can work; luckily I’ve always worked fast and no one notices the difference.  Correcting bad form is not an easy task and it’s sure taking a lot of my patience, but on a positive note spending my shifts focusing on what I’m doing with my body is definitely making it easier to ignore how stupid and annoying customers can be and how incredibly tedious my job sometimes is.  All in all, I’m positive it will be worth the time I’m taking to relearn and correct what I’ve been doing wrong all this time. 

My biggest obstacle in conquering this problem: Stretching always sucks.  I’ve never enjoyed it and have always slacked on it in a pretty hardcore fashion, but now I’ve learned my lesson.  It may be painful and sometimes boring and time-consuming, and there may sometimes be screaming when I’m having a stiff day.  But maybe it’s better to learn to get that pain out in ways other than running, where I keep all my screaming inside. 

Knee pain: just another one of the reasons you can’t run from your problems.